anarchist.

Its been a couple years since I first picked up Days of War Nights of Love, but it's amazing how much it actually stayed with me as time passed. I'm not saying that I agree with all of it, or most of it even. And I hate to say that a silly book like that would really have such an effect on me. I mean, I'm sure one of the reasons I was actually interested in it was the fact that there are lots of pictures and stuff. I never really became an all out anarchist or anything. But somehow, I think a lot of the choices I make and the way I see things kinda started with that book. It's not even all that revolutionary. In highschool found that many of the themes in it were being taught at school through "classic" books in English class. Half of my college classes have touched upon themes I was first exposed to by this book. I don't really know why I'm writing about it now. This entry is kinda weird to write. It's been a while since I've really read it. Maybe I'm looking for an explination for how I feel about certain things. I don't really know how to go about writing this because it's more like a vuage idea that I hold on to which keeps me grounded. It's weird.

Maybe I'm just trying to make sense of my restlessness and discontent with things when everything is actually fine. It seems that everytime I read something from it I feel really shitty cause I actually notice the ennui in my life and want to seek something better. I want to live a fuller life thats more grounded in reality, which is strange because sometimes it feels like im just another escapist, except mine is usually physical escape. Like i need to be physically doing something new or be in a physically different place to really feel like I'm living. So it's strange cause it's kind of depressing but really uplifting at the same time. I dont know... I guess I'm thinking about it again because I'm starting to feel the weight of ennui again lately even though in my surroundings everything is fine. Erg. I feel like writing about it all, but I'm too tired and not really sure what I'm trying to say anyways.

I don't think any of that made any sense. whatever. if your interested, here are some of the words and things that make me restless and constantly on the prowl for personal change and fuel my lust for life:

Days of..

of course, reading it online is nothing compared to actually having the book, with the wonderful layouts and illustrations. with the feel of the paper and the book. But it works for now although im sure ive linked to this several times already.